Feeling the pain of separation with the 3 of Swords

The suit of Swords is full of difficult cards.

Airy and pointed, Swords can either enlighten us or enmesh us, free us from our inner gremlins or let them drive the bus.

From the Ace of Swords all the way to the King and Queen of Swords, our thoughts, words and feelings find new meaning as we learn how to wield them with care.

I pulled the Three of Swords on the very first day of a recent trip to Costa Rica for my cousin’s wedding. I winced.

“A wedding isn’t a time for Three of Swords work,” was my first thought.

The second: “Where is there grief here that I’m not seeing?”

All of the three cards represent some kind of coming together, but I think the inverse is true of the Three of Swords. I’ve come to see this card as representing the pain of separation after having loved. Or having tried really hard to control an outcome. Or not make any mistakes.

In other words, grief.

Who invites grief into a wedding? I invite grief into a wedding. I thought about my dad and how much he would have enjoyed the experience of watching these families come together. I thought about my own wedding way back when and how wonderful it was to see everyone, even though nobody thought the marriage would last. (They were right.)

The Three of Swords asks: How can I sit with these uncomfortable or sad feelings? What might they offer me in terms of hope, consolation or acceptance?

That’s the medicine of this card. If I can open myself to the beauty of letting loss be part of love, I am expressing a desire to experience life on a deeper level. That means I’m going to witness new emotions and new levels of joy and grief and anger.

If you’ve had a reading with me and pulled a Swords card, you’ve heard me say that I read the Swords as the path toward the enlightened mind.

This meaning wrangling your mind and your mouth, but it also means learning how to separate feeling from thinking.

The Three of Swords gives us that first taste. It’s sweet and bitter and is so strong that it can feel like sickness.

But it doesn’t last.

The Four of Swords is around the corner, beckoning you to rest and recharge and protect your assets.